Time for some real talk. I'm grateful for the people who've said I've inspired them to start working out again or to sign up for their next race, and I want them to know, when things are tough, that this wasn't easy for me. I stuck to my training. I had the BEST coach (love you, Terrara ♥) you could wish for. But my legs weren't there on race morning. I could feel from the start that they were a little tired. I was so nervous I was shaking. My head wasn't right. And when I got to the point where the half marathoners went left and I went straight, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to finish. I kept my goal pace for 10 miles and then I had to slow down. I knew I could still qualify, but I didn't feel like I normally do when I race. I normally feel strong, confident, fierce, fast, and tough. I felt like a total newbie. I felt like everyone knew I was out there with an unrealistic goal. People were passing me. Jason texted me to let me know he had finished and PRed and had safe blood glucose. Then I was really on my own. While I wish Geo had finished his race, I was grateful to see him at mile 14. He told me I WAS finishing this race, and to go ahead of him, so I did. I needed that. Then, around mile 20, it all went to shit. I was running in the 9:00s. EVERYTHING hurt SO BAD. I walked water stations. I had given up on fueling. People were passing me. I gave up on qualifying. I just wanted to finish. Again, so thankful for my Be Bold Crew family. Romeo, Amanda, and Julie's cheering gave me enough zip to not walk and to pick up the pace a little. Bridget got me through the finish chute. And I saw that I was just under 3:35, the qualifying time for my division. I knew Jason was at the end and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. Each one of you gave me the little extra boost I needed to pick it up just a little and get that BQ.
Med tent. Didn't think it was necessary; glad I went. My legs hurt so bad that I was in tears. Again, grateful for the Crew. Grateful to my runners, Leah and Jason, for sitting there with me the whole time. Grateful to Geoffrey for staying with me when he hadn't had the day he had planned. Grateful to Amanda for making sure I was okay.
I didn't have the run I wanted. I wanted to run my first full marathon strong, confident, and BOLD. Instead, I felt like I made it through with luck, grace, and sheer force of will. But I made it. And I'm totally okay with it. People kept telling me, "Enjoy it! You only run your first marathon once!" But that's not how I roll. This was my trial and error marathon. Now I get to run my favorite race, the Detroit Free Press Marathon with one under my belt, not a newbie, and mentally prepared, on my home turf. I'll just pretend I planned it this way, because in retrospect, this is awesome.
And I couldn't be more grateful for my sister, Lauren, and Jason, for continually telling me that I inspire them. To me, I'm just doing something I love, but if it inspires someone to do something positive, that's awesome. And my friend, Amanda, believed in me so much that she got me my first piece of Boston gear while she was racing there a week ago, long before I toed the starting line. Talk about a good friend.
In the end, I can't wait for Oct. 16. 26.2, here I come, and next time, we dance.
Reposted from Facebook, April 27, 2016
